The Banana
Split Book

A Month of

More Than
A Month
Of Sundaes


"A Hot Fudge Sundae and a trashy novel is my idea of heaven."
                    - Barbara Walters

"When the Woolworth's-Hot-Fudge-Sundae switch goes on, then I know I really have something."
                    - Andy Warhol in The Philosophy of Andy Warhol

"Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on Hot Fudge Sundaes. It makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt."
                    - Judith Olner

"Mother went off for three days to New York and Mame and Quentin took instant advantage of her absence to fall sick. Quentin's sickness was surely due to a riot in candy and ice-cream with chocolate sauce."
                    - Theodore Roosevelt, Letters to his Children

"My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate."
                    - Thornton Wilder

"I doubt the World holds for anyone a more soul-stirring surprise than the first adventure with ice cream."
                    - Heywood Broun

"Asking me what I think of Oscar (Hammerstein) is like asking me what I think of the Yankees, Man o' War and Strawberry Sundaes."
                    - Billy Rose, Broadway Producer

"I'll be clickin' by your house about two forty-five, Sidewalk Sundae Strawberry Surprise."
                    - Tom Waits

"I have long felt that any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on a full suit of armor and attacked a Hot Fudge Sundae or a Banana Split."
                    - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

"Watching other teams in the World Series is like watching somebody else eat a Hot Fudge Sundae."
                    - Joe Torre, Manager, New York Yankees

"God put this game last, and it's just like putting a cherry on top of your Sundae."
                    - Georgia offensive lineman Jonas Jennings, anticipating the late November Georgia-Georgia Tech football game

"In my films, all the great things are put together. It's not like one kind of ice cream but rather a very big Sundae."
                    - George Lucas

"His own government, suing him, that's not Chocolate Sundae!"
                    - William Gates Sr. (Bill's Dad)

"I love Hot Fudge Sundaes; I could die for Hot Fudge Sundaes."
                    - Bob Farrell, Founder, Farrell's Ice Cream Parlors

"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
                    - Don Kardong, 1976 U.S. Olympic Marathoner

"Waving the flag at the 1976 Olympics wasn't my idea. It was too much apple pie and ice cream."
                    - Bruce Jenner, 1976 Olympic Decathlon Champion

"We got the hot fudge on the bottom.... that allows you to control the fudge distribution while you're eating your ice cream."
                    - Jerry Seinfeld in Seinfeld

"I just had two double fudge Sundaes."
                    - Kramer (pining over girlfriend Pam) in Seinfeld

"Child: Why on this night do we eat Hot Fudge Sundaes? Adult: To remind us that being Jewish is like having your birthday every day!! Plus they're delicious!"
                    - Jon Stewart, suggestion for a newer, more palatable Passover seder

"Back when I was your age, I always made myself a big Banana Split after sex. I think you're gonna need one tonight."
                    - Magda counseling Mary in the Farrelly Brothers' There's Something About Mary

"We still have to put some cherry syrup on it, and then we can eat it"
                    -Bill Murray, finishing an ice sculpture in Groundhog Day

"Hitchcock may have been a master of many things, but his goofy endings were like a dead cockroach found at the bottom of a near-perfect cinematic Sundae."
                    -Steve Burgess, Film Critic

"Monterey was the Maraschino cherry on top of the Sundae that was the '60s. It was totally unprecedented, and the audience was unprecedented in their joy."
                    -Art Garfunkel

"With no pretensions of art, Viva Las Vegas, the new Elvis Presley vehicle, is about as pleasant and unimportant as a Banana Split."
                    -Howard Thompson, Film Critic,1964

"Being called the Michael Jordan of attorneys by Senator Kennedy is the Chocolate Sundae."
                    -Philip Corboy, Chicago trial lawyer

"If Congress tried to forbid the eating of Ice Cream Sundaes or cotton candy, many people would be outraged, others would simply laugh."
                    -Marijuana Times

"I'm still saving a Hot Fudge Sundae for you."
                    -NASA administrator Goldin to U.S. astronaut Norm Thagard, upon his return from a 31/2-month stint aboard Space Station Mir

"He is adept at finding open receivers, not-so-open receivers, and receivers covered like chocolate syrup on a DQ Sundae."
                    -Sportswriter Jess Nicholas, describing the University of Alabama quarterback

"Few problems in life cannot be greatly helped by (1) an increase in sales, or (2) a Hot Fudge Sundae."
                    -Jean Baum

"All this talkin' about eatin' is makin' me awful hungry. I'll have two chili burgers with an order of fries, onion rings and a chocolate milk shake. And a Strawberry Ice Cream Sundae--with pickles."
                    -George Lindsey as Goober Pyle on The Andy Griffith Show

"We dare not trust our wit for making our house pleasant to our friends, so we buy ice cream."
                    -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Working-girls, in pairs and groups and swarms, loitered by these windows, choosing their future boudoirs from some resplendent display which included even a man's silk pajamas laid domestically across the bed. They stood in front of the jewelry stores and picked out their engagement rings, and their wedding rings and their platinum wrist watches, and then drifted on to inspect the feather fans and opera cloaks; meanwhile digesting the sandwiches and Sundaes they had eaten for lunch."
                    -from May Day by F. Scott Fitzgerald

"We do not get ice-cream every where, and so, when we do, we are apt to dissipate to excess."
                    -Mark Twain, Innocents Abroad

"Well I took her over to a soda fountain over on Bo's
She had an Ice Cream Sundae and a hot cup of Jo
She leaned way back just to straighten up her hose
Well the ice cream melted and the coffee froze."
                    -Gene Vincent in his song Flea Brain

"Rodeo Drive is a giant Butterscotch Sundae."
                    -Andy Warhol (on the Beverly Hills shopping district)

"Sundaes cause acne."
                    - Humbert Humbert in Vladimir Nabakov's Lolita

"He remained obstinately gloomy the whole afternoon; wouldn't talk to Lenina's friends (of whom they met dozens in the ice-cream soda bar between the wrestling bouts); and in spite of his misery absolutely refused to take the half-gramme Raspberry Sundae which she pressed upon him. 'I'd rather be myself,' he said. 'Myself and nasty. Not somebody else, however jolly.'"
                    - Bernard Marx in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World

"I rather like the idea of having all my hours to myself: eating a Fudge Sundae, watching a movie, sleeping on my couch, singing in the bathroom, studying the woods, kidding around with a girl, playing cards lazily -- all kinds of stuff that American brands 'shiftless.'"
                    - Jack Kerouac

"Considering how many urgent issues need tackling in our country, it's tragic that ordering a Hot Fudge Sundae without guilt has become an overtly political act."
                    - Ilyse Mimoun, University of California, Berkeley

"What the Contract [with America] says is you can have a Hot Fudge Sundae for every meal and still lose weight."
                    - Al Hunt, Wall Street Journal Editor

"We ain't got no Caramel Sundae. We ain't got no Butterscotch Sundae. We got Strawberry."
                    - Gwen Welles as Sueleen Gay in Robert Altman's Nashville

"Banana Splits for Breakfast. I think I ate about five."
                    - Sissy Spacek as Babe in Crimes of the Heart

"Suppose we do a number with musical swords, and we can end up cutting Honey in half?" asks Fred. "I'd much rather split a banana split three ways," replies Honey.
                    - Fred Astaire as Fred Ayers and Ginger Rogers as Honey Hale in Flying Down to Rio

"Steak, cream pies, hot fudge - those were thought to be unhealthy - precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true."
                    - Doctors in the year 2173 in Woody Allen's Sleeper

"You have an Ice Cream Sundae, put the whipped cream on -- that's what managers do."
                    - Captain Lou Albano, Manager, WWF

"Generous arms merchants throw in 10,000 or so mines like extra nuts on an Ice Cream Sundae."                    
                    - Rae McGrath, Director of the Mines Advisory Group

"Try to cut back. Leave the cherry off your Hot Fudge Sundae."
                    - Garfield, Words to the Wide

"What do you experience with your first mouthful of Hot Fudge Sundae? Its not surprising that we carry it over to describe the intensity of love and sex."
                    - Dr. S. Mintz

"What really distinguishes ice-cream parlors is their atmosphere and therein lies the difference between a Sundae that satisfies the palate and one that satisfies the soul."
                    - Fran R. Schumer

"Ice cream unleashes the uninhibited eight-year-old's sensual greed that lurks within the best of us. I do not celebrate the Spartan scoop of vanilla the incurably constricted grownup suffers to cap a pedestrian dinner. I sing of great gobs of mellow mint chip slopping onto your wrist as your tongue flicks out to gather the sprinkles. I sing of champagne and rum raisin and two spoons in bed on New Year's Eve. I sing of the do-it-yourself Sundae freakout with a discriminating collector's hoard of haute toppings - wet walnuts, hot fudge, Home-made peach conserve, Nesselrode, marrons, and brandied cherry -- whisk-whipped cream, a rainbow of sprinkles and crystals and crisp toasted almonds, inspiring a madness that lifts masks, shatters false dignity, and bridges all generation gaps."
                    - from Bite by Gael Greene